WE’VE GOT YOU COVERED

Like filmmakers of recent years, musicians have lost originality and have run out of ideas for new music sounds. When this happens, we hear music that is regenerated by new artists, and this is known as COVERING.

Now I love cover songs. I love hearing how artists can take and old song and modernize it or make it more lively than the original. But there are also too many times that an artist covers a song in a “Why the hell did they remake that song” light. If you’re going to cover it, remake it. Don’t sing it and play it exactly as the original…otherwise, what was the point of taking the time to remake it?

You’re going to start seeing a lot of entries here having to do with covers, mainly because it’s the way of the world now. Original ideas are few and far between and there’s a big risk in artists killing the legacy of once cherished bands and excellent songs.

But, I will be the first to say that there’s nothing like hearing a song completely re-done in a way you never thought a song can be heard. Those are the cover songs we will be covering in this blog, the good ones.

But be forewarned: In order to put the good covers in a good light, I can’t do that without making reference to the bad ones. So let’s get on with it….

ARE YOU READY FOR SOME FOOTBALL...AND LUCINDA WILLIAMS?

Does my image of watching football on Sunday's match yours? Let's see......

-10 guys in a living room all with Packer/Steeler/Giants/Cowboys jerseys
-All guys are overweight
-Beer and artery clogging food as far as the eye could see
-Tailgates at 10am in the parking lot of your team's stadium
-High fiving when your team makes a great play
-Bratwursts, sausages, big strong burly guys with their last name on the back of their favorite team's jersey (IE a Giants jersey with 56 and my last name on the back)
-Getting pumped for a bone crunching bloodbath....YEAH BABY YEA BABY YEEEEEEEA!

OK, did I hit at least some similarities as to what your Football Sunday looks like? Doesn't matter because I left one out. My image of football is forever changed. I now add the immortal LUCINDA WILLIAMS to my stereotypical image of football. The country/pop/adult contemporary artist is now my pump up music before a Giants game. You've think I've gone crazy? Well, let me tell you....

I was in line behind someone who looked like The Rock waiting to get my Chicken Cheese Steak (not really a steak because it's chicken), and I noticed he was wearing one of those black concert tshirts that seem so Molly Hatchet nowadays.

Anyway, I look and do a double take. This guy is easily 6-4, 230 pounds and on his shirt it says "LUCINDA WILLIAMS" US TOUR 2005 - and then goes on to list the cities. LUCINDA WILLIAMS? The country singer turned pop star back to country? Since when is she stimulating music for a Sunday of football? And not to mention for a guy who looks like a football player? Wacky I tell you. Not so wacky as my friends, The Berkley All Blues Women's Rugby team who listen to Brandi Carlisle before each game (not music to pump you up - I do a tribute to these ladies in my second Podcast), but not far from it.

Thank you sir, whoever you are for giving me something to write about and changing my preparations for Sunday football forever. Are you ready for some football? After Lucinda Williams, I'm ready for anything.

LIVING IN OBLIVION - DISCO LIVES!

Does anyone know the name Bill Veeck?

For those of you that don't, his name lives in baseball and music infamy. He was the owner of the Chicago White Sox through the 1970's and is best known for his promotional gimmicks and off the wall antics.

But if you hit Google for articles about this guy, you'll find out that many of his gimmicks were famous failures. Namely, the season he made the White Sox wear short pants with uniforms that looked like pajamas (obtain any baseball card of a 1978 White Sox player and you'll see what I'm talking about), and most famously, 1979's DISCO DEMOLITION NIGHT in which Veeck sold tickets for under a dollar, invited a local disco hating radio DJ to be the MC and encourage the raucous crowd to bring disco records to be destroyed in a bonfire in centerfield between games of a double header with the Tigers. This event was one of the catalysts for the T-shirts that read "Disco Sucks."

While the golden age of disco was dying out at this point, it did combine itself with punk and give way to the new wave movement of the early 80's which included The Cure, Echo and the Bunnymen, New Order, and a host of respectable mainstays in the club music scene. Nowadays, we are treated to house and club music that goes beyond the club and is actually good music to listen to in the confines of your own home (IE Fatboy Slim, Chemical Brothers, Crystal Method, Thievery Corporation and the like).

With all this evolution however, I'm here to tell you that vintage disco is NOT DEAD! While disco still does suck, IT LIVES! While I was never a dance club guy, I went to my share and the last time I was in one is surely over 10 years ago. New York City, once Dance Club Central, has seen it share of clubs close down for various reasons of drugs, crime, and all around unpleasant hooliganism happening inside. The Palladium, The Limelight, Twiloh, Club Metro, and of course Studio 54 (now a broadway theater eeeesh!).

But a couple of weeks ago, on the Nautical Mile in Freeport, Long Island, (a mile long strip along a marina of restaurants, bars, fish markets and fishing boats), you could hear and see nothing except the pulsating bass of each and every dance club along the line. The cheesy disco balls, the colored lights, ABBA, Donna Summer, Rob Base, big hair, knee high socks...IT WAS EVERYWHERE!

The golden age of disco lives...IN FREEPORT...and where else? The pockets of resistance are probably infinite. Disco Waarrriorrrrs - come out to plaaay-ay!

A great shock to my system but what the hell did I know. I became a conformist rock and pop pinko! Disco hadn't been on my radar since I left my college years in Miami.

I calmly strolled down the mile, hearing the transition of music from place to place, finally releived to be on the other side of the train tracks, back in my comfort zone. But I was a bit wiser for the wear.

The end of the DISCO DEMOLITION NIGHT story in 1979 is, when the bonfire and destruction of the disco records went up in a blaze of glory, the drunk raucous crowd who paid $1 to get in stormed the field, ripped it up and field was destroyed and the 2nd game of the double header was automatically rewarded as a victory for the visiting Tigers. Nice going Mr. Veeck!

We were oblivious then and we're oblivious now. So all of us oblivious guitar toting rock mongers who spit on Special Sauce with our Lipps Incorporated, take note, because disco is here to stay.

PODCAST 2: SPORT & SOUNDTRACK

This edition of Music for the Situation (Click here to listen) features music you might listen to prior to a sporting event - playing in one or watching one...so basically, music to get you pumped or ready to take the field of battle. Also, music for the soundtrack situation from movies and television you may not be familiar with.

Artists featured: Republica (Ready to Go), Brandi Carlile (What Can I Say), Red Hot Chili Peppers (Rollercoaster), The Who (Baba O' Reily).
SPECIAL FEATURE: A tribute to the Berkley California All Blues Women's Rugby Club - National Champs 10 Years Running! Check out their website http://www.berkeleyallblues.com

YOU’VE GOT A FRIEND IN THE ROCKY MOUNTAINS

NOTE: This entry was inspired by my son who has slept 11-12 hours each night for the last several nights falling asleep to James Taylor and John Denver.

By far the most overplayed soft rock artist on the radio, on CD’s and pretty much any media that can play music is James Taylor.

James Taylor along with John Denver, who, while not quite as overplayed, has enjoyed eternal life in every music collection of every white suburban child of the 1970’s.

You have to admire these guys for 2 reasons:

1. They both made music that went against industry standards at the time they made it and were successful.
2. They made Granola famous.

Even though these two artists are probably the two you are most emabarrassed about having a soft place in your heart for, I’m here to tell you that it’s ok to dust off these gentlemen’s greatest hits albums, because I’ve found anew use for them.

Before I tell you this use, let me begin by saying that I would see neither of these guys in concert (especially John ‘cause he’s dead), and by no means do these men stretch the boundaries of musical diversity. Between Fire and Rain, You’ve Got a Friend in Carolina, and Country Roads, Take Me to the Rocky Mountain High, it all sounds like one song to me.

Traditional uses for this music for me at least, were always reflection, and nostalgia for those road trips I used to take with my folks that featured famous phrases like “Are We There Yet”and “Don’t Make me Come Back There and Slap you Silly.”

But now, in fatherhood, my advice to you is throw away every piece of Barney you have and break out the JT and JD, turn the lights down and turn the music up and watch your child drift into Granola eatin’ oblivion as he/she falls asleep with ease. A few nights of this and your alarm clock will be a pleasure to turn off at the time you set it for.

It started as me, hoarse voice and all, singing You’ve Got a Friend to my son, and watching him get the greatest sleeps since his existence started several months ago. Then I thought since JT sings that song way better than me, why not just put the whole album on, and it kept working. As an add on, I tried JD’s Greatest Hits as a way to chill him out before bed, and let me just say that the JD experiment is on its way out of Beta and into the mainstream.

Now after I finish this entry, he probably won’t sleep a wink for nights to come. But if you think like I do…that Barney is an overhyped freak of nature and a strain on our brains and well-being, then reacquaint yourself with my new best friends, John Denver and James Taylor.

LOVE AND WINE ON LONG ISLAND

There's nothing like taking a roadtrip to a peaceful country setting on an 85 degree sunny low humidity day, away from the daily grind of New York City where the air is clean and the color green dominates the landscape.

Hmm, now let's see if we can make the situation better by surrounding ourselves with…….WINERIES, beautiful open fields on the edge vineyards, where we can kick back, relax, have a picnic, taste our wine-loving asses off, and lose ourselves inside a $4 glass of pinot or chardonnay where the only worry is what to have for dinner.

Well, that's exactly what my family and I actually did on a recent Saturday. We trekked eastward to Long Island's North Fork for a day of wine tasting, wine drinking, and The day was memorable and to make sure I remembered it clearly, I made sure to note the music that defined each part of it.  

The following account is described in the order of music highlights that occurred throughout the day…..

8:30am   The Mad Rush to the Train

Cat Stevens – Here Comes My Baby

The subways of NYC are a pain in the ass at all hours of the day.   Your timing is either very bad or perfect, there is no in between.   The one thing about early Saturday mornings is that they hardly ever come, so if you just miss a train (especially ones where they do construction on the weekends), count on waiting at least another 15 minutes on a steaming 140 degree platform for another one.

At 8:30am, I had 35 minutes to get a train up to Penn to catch the LIRR out to my father in-law's house.   Plenty of time, and I thought, since woke up before 7am and was still sluggish, I needed some music to get me going and luckily my Ipod came right up with Cat Stevens' Here Comes My Baby .   A depressing song lyrics-wise but with incredibly uplifting flowery 1960's flare.   Most love songs are contradictory this way.   IE Sinead O'Connor's Nothing Compare's 2 You – not a love song by any means but the title and melody suggest totally otherwise.   Anyhow, the song is vintage Cat, and thanks to him for lighting a fire under my ass to book down the corridor and just catch the C train going to Penn.   If not for Cat, I have a steaming platform and a missed LIRR train staring me in the face.

11:30am    - The Longest Wait for a Sandwich

Various Soft Rock Artists

After an uneventful train ride and some pleasantries exchanged with wife, child, and father in law (I had stayed back in Manhattan because of a prior engagement), we set out on our eastward journey.   First stop, the supermarket, where we would pick up snacks to compliment the wine, always a fun thing.

But not on this day.

35 minutes after we ordered our sandwiches at the deli, we were still waiting for them.   Our ticket was 61, and by the time our last sandwich was handed to us, they had looped the “Now Serving” clock and it read “Now Serving 02.”   And it's not like we ordered anything fancy.   Salami, Ham Sandwich, Roast beef on a roll.   My biggest mistake was asking for sun dried tomatoes where the guy actually had to get out from behind the deli, walk to the produce aisle and grab a handful of them.

The only saving grace was the frivolous music being played over the speakers.   An assortment of soft rock from the late 70's and 80's like Ruppert Holmes's Escape (The Pina Colada Song), Lionel Riche's Say You Say Me (From White Nights),   and one I hadn't heard in a while….the ever popular Swing Out Sister with Am I the Same Girl.   I always find in irritating situations like this, it's always best to think of silly songs to get your mind of being annoyed at the Forrest Gumpness of those serving you.

At the stroke of noon, sandwiches were in hand, money was out, and we were off.   Next stop Wine Country!

12-2pm   The Drive

The Cowboy Junkies – Studio.

Having been a previous resident of Long Island, I can attest to the amount of traffic, the attitude of many of its residences, and the utter displeasure of simply being here.   But over the last several years as a resident of Manhattan, I see it in a totally different light.  

You see, in Manhattan, we have 40 times the amount of traffic, 100 times the amount of people, no front lawn, 1/8 the space, and it never quiets down except for between the hours of 5:30-8am.   But it has everything you could ever need times 1000 without the use of a car or a gardener.    That's why we live here.   No other reason.   We are a much simpler people than you think.   All we want are our conveniences and we'll pay to get them.

But after a while, with a family, conveniences take a back seat and the noise eventually gets to you and then you start to wonder why you can't ever relax or kick back.   And then….you see life away from Manhattan.

Trips to Long Island are now relaxing getaways.   I get a lot more out of Long Island than I used to.   I guess the years of separation helped me out. I get a relaxing calm from seeing lawn and sidewalks with nobody on them, and GRILLS!  

Now, I never thought of Long Island as a great place to go for a drive and hit the open road, but beyond Nassau County and through to Eastern Suffolk, the traffic goes away on the LIE and it becomes something like driving in the Midwest, just you, the road and your trusted driving music.

Driving music is my favorite type of music.   Even while not driving, hearing driving music makes me think of a sunny day on the open road and those are relaxing thoughts on anyone's calendar.   And because I hardly drive anymore, driving music while in a car takes on an extra special trait for me nowadays.

I had a bunch of options:   Zeppelin, Steely Dan, Allman Brothers, even a special mix I made called “Travelling Music.”   But today's winner:    The Cowboy Junkies compilation album, Studio.  

How could you go wrong with song titles like “Lost My Driving Wheel” and “Shining Moon.”   The real draw of the album though is the heavenly vocals of lead singer Margo Timmins , as her voice flows out of the speakers and out over the trees that line the LIE and the country roads leading to the wine country on songs like Sweet Jane (a Lou Reed cover) and A Song For Elvis orchestrated to the tune of Blue Moon except without all the doo-wop.

The pairing of the music and the drive resulted in every tense feeling in body going away…if only for an hour.

2:15pm Beverage Run

Some Spanish Singer

All my tense feelings returned upon our arrival in Riverhead, the last conceivable exit on the Long Island Expressway.   When we last visited the wine country, I always said how great it was because of it's beauty and non-New York feel.   Everyone always goes south to the Hamptons or Montauk, but the wine country was New York's best kept secret.  

But Riverhead changed my perception.   All of a sudden there was development out here.   Chain stores, malls, and YIKES!   A TRAFFIC JAM!   How long was this going to last?   Had the North Fork of Long Island become the new South Fork?   What was with the 4 mile backup leading up to the traffic circle?   Was Sideways r eally that influential of a movie?   Get out of here people, this is my spot and you will not corrupt it!

But my fear was short lived as it was only the traffic circle that caused the backup (I mean where in the US except for New England do they have roundabouts that cause legendary backups?)   The answer:   Riverhead Long lsland!).

Before we were to stop at our first winery, we naturally needed non-alchoholic beverages like soda and water to offset the possible dehydration that comes with wine tasting.   So among all the traffic and mini malls with Quik Marts and Delis, we chose to stop at one that had seen better days.

No matter, on this glorious day, I waltzed into Juevos y Juevos Latino Grocery, where they sold the complete line of Goya products, and an assortment special vegetables.   It smelled like a Latino household (the smell of beans, rice, various sauces, spices, and in this case, throw up).   I tracked down the beverage cases, and next to El Presidente, 15 varieties and brands of Malta (the latino equivalent of Malt Liquor), and other Spanish language labeled soft drinks, I found Coke, Poland Spring, and Ginger Ale (Funny that the only brand of Ginger Ale they carried was the obscure White Rock).  

As I paid the nice lady for the drinks, I started to hone in on the music.   Some singer belting out a classic ballad in Spanish with quite the impressive Spanish guitar was blasting throughout the place.   Complete with the phrase found in every ballad of this caliber   “Para siento, mi corazon…..”     I have no clue what it means but I love hearing it.

I previously tried blocking it out but the sheer volume didn't allow it.   If only for a split second, it amused me to no end as I looked forward to telling my family what I had just witnessed.   One of those “You had to be there” moments.

2:35pm   Arrival at Osprey's Dominion

Live House Band – Covers of Me and My Bobby McGee, Volcano Blows, What I Got?, and Proud Mary (Rollin' on the River)

Destination reached at last!   Osprey's Dominion, one of the furthest wineries down the trail and for good reason…it's also one of the best.   Think Field of Dreams without the baseball diamond and the sweaty players, and add in a big tent and free flowing wine….and a live band!

Yipee…a live band!   What could be better than singing along with a live band with only a select few in attendance sitting on the edge of vineyards that at least look like they go on for miles (but this is Long Island so the end can't be that far away).

Having been to Osprey's Dominion twice previously, I had concluded three things about this winery:

1. It's my favorite winery on Long Island – the wine is superb and moderately priced – something not usually scene nowadays since the beloved Sideways .   You can get a glass of really damn good merlot for $4, and most of the tastings don't cost anything except for a few select vintner's reserves and specially made limited editions.   So basically, you can get wasted by just tasting if you felt like it and only drop a couple of bucks on a tip for the wine pourers (believe me, they appreciate it – I mean how many times do they have to help patrons correctly pronounce Gewürztraminer in one day?   They're smiling but I know they just want to knock folks in the head with a bottle of it).
   
   
   
   The field out back is ideal for a picnic and there's tons of space so it never feels like being on the Jersey Shore on a holiday weekend.   There's an outdoor bar so you don't have to walk all the way back to the tasting room and battle through the beginners just to get a glass. And did I mention they always have a live band!
   
   


2. Because of its distance from civilization, it will be a less traveled winery than those closer for years to come, and that's just awesome – So basically what I'm saying here is, even though I said it was my favorite, it doesn't have to be your favorite.   There are tons of other wineries that you may find just as appealing, plus it's a long drive so stay away cretons, don't have your summer wedding here, I'm actually lying, the place sucks.   Get out, beware of dog, no trespassing, you will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law blah blah blah…oh heck, what's the use, this place rules, it's only a matter of time before commercialism reaches here.
   
   


3. Did I mention they always have a live band? – Word of caution for serious musicians – unless it's only a weekend job, if you get booked here, it's not necessarily a good thing .
   
   
   
   With that said, in my previous visits here, the bands have been…well let's say interesting at least.   The variety is astounding and the setup is even more astounding.   Two previous visits saw a 7 piece band totally rocking out in the middle of the back field.   There were maybe 10 couples in attendance, it was 4 th of July weekend and the 7 piece band was jam packed into a gazebo smaller than my bathroom.   But they sounded great.
   
   
   
   Second time we looked forward to the gazebo band again, but this time no rock.   Instead, the weirdest possible music style for the surrounding for 4 th of July in 85 degree heat:   A Cabaret Lounge Act.   The lead singer looked like a Russian prostitute post-communist era (her makeup was oozing off of her and the goth look made me aware that possibly any minute, the KGB would rush the gazebo with barking dogs and drag the band off to the gulag).   We were one of two couples in attendance.
   
   
   
   This time, things had taken a noticeable turn.   DRAT!   Commercialism had reached here! The gazebo was engulfed in ivy, and there was a large tent set up for those looking to escape the heat.   This is where the band also took up residence.
   
   
   
   The tasting room was packed, and outback there were 3 very large groups of ladies each with their own bottle in hand and a wedding party….aw man, now we're in for it.   If the band plays I Will Survive , while the ladies dance and raise the bottles in the air dancing like mutant white chicks, well then, it's duck season so just shoot me now Mr. Fudd!
   
   
   
   Thankfully they did not and the wedding party dispersed, but I still loved the fact that each wedding party participant had their own bottle – no proper ladies here – maybe this place with bigger crowd and all wasn't so bad after all.   (Woo hoo!)

On a scale of 1-10, this band was a 50 on the unintentional comedy scale.   4 members:   2 Guitarists, one lead singer, a saxophonist (who looked more fit to be jamming with Becky Ann and Marty Culp who head up the music department at Altadina Middle School), and NO DRUMMER.   No drummer?   I guess we're in for an afternoon of folk music or James Taylor or something – not bad but a whole afternoon?   Where's the upbeat music? It just didn't fit with the gorgeous weather and free flowing wine.

Then they cut into their first song (they were on break when we got there).   My perception totally shifted when I heard When the Volcano Blows by Jimmy Buffet .   It brought a huge smile to my face as I watched them jam on stage with no drummer and trying to work in the saxophone on this song.   The saxophone for this band's selection of music may have been the worst idea since New Coke.   He was by far the most unintentionally funny person of the day.   The song itself was perfect for the situation, and my slow journey towards inebriation didn't hurt either.

The next song brought on one of those “Wow, I haven't heard this song in so long, and why are they playing it here” kind of moments.   What I Got by the mid 90's one hit wonders Sublime , just made me want to drink even more.   Think poor man's Sugar Ray and you have Sublime .    Problem was, this song lives off of its drum beats and did I mention that this band had NO DRUMMER?

The substitute?   The Altadina Middle School saxaphonist.   As a bonus, they did the extended version and as I sat with wife, child, and father in-law and ate sandwich and drank Osprey's Cabernet Franc, my son's stuffed animals came alive and asked to get in on the some of the wine action.   Just because they were inanimate objects didn't mean they didn't have feelings too.   Mr. Frog and Mr. Dog were toasted after a couple of sips and before I could offer them more, they said thanks and passed out.

Song 3 of 4 in the set was finally one this band could handle.   The band with no drummer asked Altadina to sit this one out as they cut into Rollin' on the River by Credence Clearwater Revival or Tina Turner – whatever version floats your boat.   By this point, I was feeling just grand and enjoyed every minute of it.   Altadina looked pissed, either ‘cause he knew he was out of place or because of the heat, not yet sure.   I wanted so badly for the female lead to pull a Tina Turner where she headlocked the microphone and made the constipated face, while she and the guitarists engaged in the “Rollin”   Hooo!   Rollin' Hoooo, Rollin' on the river…”   exchange.   But they took the Mississippi River route which was just fine too.  

But seeing the other version would have continued the session along the surreal path…which in turn would make this blog entry more interesting.   And if you're still reading this, thanks for sticking around, it's almost done.

Last song before break was the cake topper.   Before they started, the female lead had to break out the sheet music so basically now we're just watching glorified karaoke.   Altadina came back and was ready for action.   And yet another 180 was done when they began Janis Joplin's Me and My Bobby McGee .

Since when is the saxaphone a driving force on this song?   This may very well have been the first time this band performed this song and after the female lead missed a few words and Altadina looked just plain lost (occasionally belting out notes where he thought he could fit them in), the Bobby McGee experiment had gone horribly awry.   Aw well, we applauded their efforts for at least giving it a shot.

5pm   Last Stop:   Peconic Bay

Sarah McLaughlin – I Will Remember You

After our fill of Osprey's Dominion, it was time to get on to one more of our favorite wineries situated back towards the west, Peconic Bay .   Our last visit here was a little more of your mainstream non-surreal barrel of fun and relaxation.   The last band here was a serious band, covering plenty of Fleetwood Mac, Steely Dan, and other classic rock selections with confidence and ease.   They had a drummer and there was no saxaphone for miles.   Sorry Altadina.

Only thing, it was late and it didn't look like much of a scene on the outdoor lawn.   The inside was packed however.   We figured, oh well, one more glass for the road (yeah, that sounds like a recipe for safety doesn't it? – but alas my sober father in-law did the driving so there).

This winery's location always makes us laugh.   If you're on the grounds and look at the vineyards, it looks like you're in the middle of nowhere.   Turn around and look across the county road and there's Pathmark with a rather large mini mall right across the street.   So much for the seclusion.

No band but a nice breeze blowing and the faintest hint of music coming out of the outdoor speakers onto the patio.   The sun had gotten a little weaker and the quietness and breeze (and of course the red wine) really complimented the music that was playing.   And the first chance I had to tune into the music, my heart melted.   It was Sarah McLaughlin's trademark song I Will Remember You.

The DJ at my wedding stuck this song in unplanned right after that part at every wedding where the bride and groom shove cake down each other's throat in front of 150 family and friends.   But if you were to ask me what part of my wedding made me truly happy to be alive, it was that part as soon as the song started playing.

Fast forward back to now, the song played and I began to feel that feeling again where all the muscles in my body turned to Jello.   With us being the only ones outside (the inside room must have been sound proofed or something), it was truly a perfect end to a great day on the North Fork.



Maybe I'll call up Altadina and we can write a song about it.

EXCITEMENT OF THE JUKE BOX VARIETY

For the last 6 years, I've played on a local coed New York City softball team called Serenity Now! (Yes, taken from the Seinfeld episode).

And for the last 6 years, the big event has always been going out to a bar in close proximity following the game, win or lose, but win usually means more drinks consumed and better time had by all. And for 6 years, music has mostly been at the forefront of post game conversations. I always find that going to a bar with a formidable juke box where we one can program the music and not be at the mercy of the bartender's taste is certainly the better way to go.

The best thing about NYC bars and pubs is that the juke box selections vary over an incredibly wide range of music depending on the neighborhood you're in. Sure you have your standard bar w/juke box featuring nothing but greatest hits albums and the best selling albums of pop groups (IE Bob Marley, Fleetwood Mac's Rumors, Any Nirvana album) and so on. The beer on tap is usually Rolling Rock, Bud, and Bud Light, and sometimes really bad Guiness, but even these bars have their loyal patrons. The more power to them.

But playing softball in every corner and far reach of Manhattan Island, and sometimes Roosevelt Island over a 6 year span has seen a variety of bars and a variety of juke boxes featuring music you thought you'd never see except for in your own music collection.

Most recently, our post game visit to the Dive Bar on Manhattan's Upper West Side (we won our game by the way) saw pitchers of Paulaner HefeWeizen and Lagunitas IPA on the table, along with The Crystal Method playing on the juke box. What is Lagunitas and who is The Crystal Method? While some of you may know them, the brew is Californian and the music is anything but like what you'd hear at a pub. Check either of them out. I have to say, they paired quite nicely. Especially after a hard fought softball victory.

Over the years my teammates and I have played music trivia, covered every wacky top 10 list having to do with music (IE The top 10 songs with the word "Rain" in the title), and tracked careers of musicians from their original bands to their solo careers and back again. And while we've done this in every corner of the Island, from the Lower East Side to Harlem, it had been some time since there was a formidable juke box to slip money into instead of a punk bartender with his/her IPod hooked up to the sound system.

It was beautiful. CSN's Southern Cross, Etta James's At Last, The Cure's Lovecats, and Elvis Costello's Watching the Detectives were some that I chose. There were a bunch of selections I had never heard of and when you spend money to hear them, it's probably best to stay clear and not risk it. If not for the barkeep giving us 6 free songs after the juke box crapped out eating my $2, all would have been lost and we would have been stuck listening to the Yankees/Devil Rays game.

But alas God was watching us on this night.

THE CONCERT SITUATION: FROZEN IN TIME PART 2: THE CASE OF THE BAND

Part 1 of this entry focused in on the non-evolution of concert fans. The ones who go to concerts with trademark dress of the bands they are seeing and only cheering to hear the trademark songs they sing, even if that band has way more than a few trademark songs.

Now we turn the tables and focus on the bands. You know, those bands that are the mothers of failed re-invention. The ones that get sick of their own image and feel they have to change for no reason and then realize that their fan base isn’t happy, that making critically acclaimed music doesn’t sell records, and then must finally return to their roots because the bank account reads negative 5 million dollars.

But even when they try that, it’s quite a pathetic site to see bands either get back together or finally go back to their roots after many years removed because these people aren’t 25 years old anymore. How Jagger, Tyler, Turner, and Springsteen do it I will never know.

CASE #1: KISS
Before I begin this one, even though I'm not a big fan of KISS, they are one of the greatest metal/glam rock bands to ever exist. They set standards in music and showmanship and deserve every bit of their credit and success.

The Culprit: Unmasking themselves in the 80's and then masking back up in the mid 90's at the age of 50+.
Why is it pathetic?Back in the 70's when these guys ruled the scene, the glitter and pyrotechnics went with KISS concerts like bread and butter. But for some reason they decided to get on the hair band wagon of the mid 80's and take off the makeup and shed the glitter outfits for run of the mill leather clad outfits and garbage songs that sounded like everybody else at the time. To a KISS fan, to put these guys in the same sentence as Slaughter or Warrant is a tragedy.

In the mid 90's when they appeared on the MTV music awards, they were back, with glitter and their trademark anthem "Rock n' Roll All Day and Party Every Night." But not only did it seemed forced, it made me want to vomit seeing a much heavier Gene Simmons and an incredibly hairy chested Paul Stanley try and fit into those quasi futuristic clothes. Plus their voices had gone, and so had the energy. They should have kept their dignity and either stayed masked always or stayed unmasked once it was done. They were a tough act to follow and couldn't even follow themselves.

CASE #2: STEPPENWOLF
The Culprit: Keeping with the burnout 1960's cut off t-shirt all the way into their early 60's.
Why is it pathetic?Somebody should have told these guys that Easy Rider and Five Easy Pieces have been outdated movies for almost 40 years. I was watching "CBS Morning Show with Charles Osgood" and they did a "Where are They Now" piece on Steppenwolf. It made me laugh to the point of hysteria.

They mention that Steppenwolf is touring again, working the trailer park circuit. Hear that? The TRAILER PARK CIRCUIT! The brains behind Born to Be Wild and Magic Carpet Ride are at it again wowing unemployed rednecks lounging out on their couches with multiple cigarette burns. The set of "Good Morning Meth" takes 5 minutes to listen in.

The image of a wrinkled lead singer pumping his fist in the air singing the lines "Booorn to be Wiiiiiiiiild" barely sounding like he can talk much less sing, to a less than tepid reception from the townies, kinda makes me cringe inside and never want to hear either of those songs again.

PODCAST 1: Party Music for the Situation

Well friends, the first podcast of Music for the Situation is finished and uploaded ready for your listening pleasure.

PODCAST 1: Party Music for the Situation (Click here to listen) Subscribe in a reader
The first podcast of Music for the Situation features suggested party music from Led Zeppelin (Fool in the Rain, Hey Hey What Can I Do), Phish (Heavy Things), Beck (Hotwax), and INXS (Need You Tonight). You get to hear me talk in between too giving you interesting facts about the music...not that you need it.

THE CONCERT SITUATION: FROZEN IN TIME

This entry is a two parter. It will first cover concert fans and then in part 2, we’ll cover the artists. OK? Here we go…

One word: EVOLUTION!

It’s something that is pretty much guaranteed NOT to happen when you go to see your favorite band or singer in concert.

While this is not a bad thing as some of the best versions of certain songs that have been sung live are 10 times better than the studio version, there’s something entertaining yet pathetic about seeing aging hipsters hold on to their youth like a 5 year old would an ice cream cone.

THE CASE OF THE FAN #1
Concert: Bruce Springsteen
The Culprit: 55 year old women and men dressed in the Born in the USA getup: US Flag headband, denim jacket, white T-shirt, ripped jeans, and the trademark US Flag sticking out of the back pocket. Why is it entertaining yet pathetic? Even though it’s been 21 years since the album, and he’s evolved into a rich Hollywood music making God with very little edge left in his music, folks still only go to his concerts to see him sing three songs: Glory Days, Born in the USA, and Born to Run. He’s doesn’t play Born in the USA and Glory Days and has even publicly said he hates playing these songs live anymore, but then he’ll put on a kick-ass 10 minute version of Tenth Avenue Freeze Out and folks still walk away disappointed. You have to laugh at this. It’s BRUCE! Does any one man demand more of your respect for his whole arsenal of music than this guy?

He’s made about 50 more songs that are better than these three. But yet, folks go nuts when they hear these big three as if they’ve never heard it before. My guess is that these folks own no albums by artists with staying power more than a few years, and no, a greatest hits album DOES NOT COUNT!

THE CASE OF THE FAN#2
Concert: U2
The Culprit: Bono’s Joshua Tree Getup consisting of that pseudo black cowboy hat as seen in the With or Without You video.

Why is it entertaining yet pathetic? See the Springsteen description above. And then tell me why people still only cheer when they hear Joshua Tree songs at their concerts. U2 has reinvented themselves 5 or 6 times since their Joshua Tree days and have won 6 or so grammys for their last 2 albums. Not to mention they made an album called Achtung Baby after the Johsua Tree that was 10 times as cutting edge and didn’t have any political undertones and yet nobody is seen trying to mimic Bono’s large fly sunglasses from that album.

MY FIRST AND ONLY VISION QUEST MOMENT

Hi, I’m Jason. You don’t know me all that well but I’ll start with my situation.

It’s the Summer of 1990 and I’m on my first and only date with a girl who I met at a high school graduation party. We weren’t old enough to drink yet so I took her to, what else, the movies, to see “Days of Thunder.”

Now, I know what you’re thinking and I can say that I wrote a letter to Simpson and Bruckheimer demanding a refund of my $6.50 but they went on and made all these movies and for some reason never got back to me. Anyhow, lesson learned the hard way.

After the movie, we landed back at her parents’ house where you couldn’t have painted more of a stereotypical picture of what happens on a date in the 1950’s. Parents asleep upstairs, us dowstairs trying not to make a sound and (INTERLUDE: Assuming you can picture it, I will skip the details).

Now this all happened before music became a veritable force in my life. Prior to being a college boy, I knew nothing about music. I bought top 40 albums that I got sick of in a week, and eventually ended up losing or breaking every new cassette tape I ever bought, this included Twisted Sister, Men at Work’s Business as Usual, Michael Jackson’s Thriller, Dexy’s Midnight Runners, Wall of Voodoo’s Call of the West and yes don’t laugh, Quiet Riot’s Metal Health, probably worth some money today. But hey, without these bands, VH1 never makes I Love the 80’s or the World Series of Pop Culture.

Anyhow, as we were, um, “dating,” the radio was playing and I heard a song hit my ears that triggered brain cells I never knew I had. I had heard the song 500 times before but never before in a situation like this one. And even if for the briefest of moments, the song actually affected me.

I listened to the song from beginning to end, every word and took it in as if it was the last time I was ever going to hear it. It’s sad I know, but that song was none other than the theme from VISION QUEST – Madonna’s “Crazy for You.”

Now don’t go hosing me down with cheez whiz just yet.

Just to get it out of the way, the movie Vision Quest is bad and only in a film as contrived and as 1980’s as this one can a dufus like Louden Swain get that lucky that a beautiful struggling ex-New York artist who thinks she can make it in Spokane, just happens to be a border in your father’s house. That would be like if Angelina Jolie moved into my house because she broke up with Brad Pitt, lost all her money and custody of her kids and thinks she can make it as a telemarketer on Long Island just to make ends meet.

But just think about it for a second. How many times have you heard a song one way and then seen it in a different light after an event or occurrence in your life? Yeah, thought so.

And it was from this occurrence in my life that I created my first mix tape. You know, those compilations of music you used to make by recording tape to tape or CD to tape? It took me almost an entire day to do. I had to think of the perfectly appropriate songs, the perfect order, the perfect everything. Does this situation sound familiar to anybody? C’mon, sure it does.

But it got me thinking much more about the music. It was from this event, I started to think of situations where certain songs would be most appropriate. Kind of like the top 10 list thing, or the all time greatest songs, or the all time greatest baseball team at each position.

Nowadays, whenever I’m having people over, I take time to make sure the music is right, and don’t think that folks don’t comment. If I get even a subtle comment, I’ve done right by my guests.

Taking it a step further, I obsessed for a month over my wedding playlist for the DJ. A five hour playlist, so many options, so little time. My wedding was one large mingling session. No set dance time and the music was a great level so you actually heard the buzz of the crowd rather than the music piercing your eardrums. It turned out to be my greatest work. The DJ knew exactly what we wanted in terms of atmosphere, and she came through in fine fashion. It truly was the greatest day of my life, thanks in large part to the aptly placed music.

The end of the story is, this girl I made the tape for isn’t the one I married, but I mailed the tape to her, and she never called me again. Oh jeez, go figure that one. I thought for sure a 90 minute tape of love ballads would surely get her to go out with me again.

OK, now you can break out the cheez whiz. Thank the almighty for Ipods. Now if you make a digital mix for your date/girlfriend, all you have to do is click and drag, and if it doesn’t work out, well then, you didn’t spend too much time on it. I digress however, ‘cause this isn’t a dating advice blog.

It’s all about the music here.

Jason L. Kaplan is a music lover and has spent many hours and days behind closed doors examining music's impact on any given situation. He's also the owner of a greeting card retailer, Jancy Street Photocards (http://www.jancystreet.com) Jason loves getting email. Please send your comments.