The following is an account of events that took place at a watering hole on 59th Street aptly named "Bar" following Serenity Now's one run softball victory about 30 minutes earlier.
WECLOME FANS TO THE MUSIC EVENT OF THE CENTURY!
It all comes down to this, it's the end all be all of civilization as we on the music circuit know it. It's the war to settle the score, the whole 9 yards, kit and kabudle, shootin' match, and enchilada in one.
WHOA NELLY, wait I mean 50 Cent, wait I mean Ludacris. Honestly folks I don't know what I mean. The euphoria has just taken over.
Where is Popeye Doyle when you need him because this place looks like a scene right out of The French Connection or maybe The Pope of Greenich Village! The black and white tile floors, no beer on the tap, the Yeungling as the most appealing bottled beer on the shelf. I tell ya, the only thing missing folks are the sweathogs from Welcome Back Kotter.
OK, and now the teams seem ready to face off at the juke box. The home team gets first dibbs.
Oh, what a move, regular lonely single guy at end of bar, whiskey sour in hand, inserts 5 dollars - this guy means business folks - and he starts off with 50 Cent. Hey, you want a little drink with your ice there my friend? He grips the straw tightly and ohhhhhh, it's 50 Cent again. The softballers look shaken, I don't know, will they be able to counter this magnificent display of music selection, so far away from their home turf? In the meantime, it looks like a clean sweep of 50 Cent -dollars spent and Mr. Whiskey Sour goes back to his corner. The bartender and patrons shake and move to the sounds of 50 Cent while the newcomers aren't even in it eating pizza and watching baseball. Looks like it's over before it starts. BUT WAIT, what's this?
Jason, Will and Chris approach the middle - the patrons look on in disbelief. In goes the money and the softballers put their faith in Jason to counter the horrific blows they just took.
We wait patiently.....and, what's this? IT SEEMS THE GAME IS AFOOT! CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS? NEVER IN MY YEARS DID I EVER THINK I'D SEE SUCH BOLDNESS! ESPECIALLY FROM NEWCOMERS.
It's AC/DC folks and Hells Bells, and it puts the softballers back in the game. What a counter but ohhhhhh my lord....the comeback is almost complete.....it's BECK baby....BECK with Where It's At.....oh this isn't fair....where did these guys learn how to do this......? OH NO....the bartender looks scared now. Whiskey Sour lonely man is now sucking on the watered down $10 drinks for dear life now! And while we....oh wait...no it cant' be, where did they the brass ones big enough to....could it be folks....YES! It's the Trump Card I never thought would be played again but the softballers have done it!
That is Neal Purtz and yes that is RUSH I hear, and YYZ no less. And wait, that's it! The Ref has stepped in and is stopping the match! 50 Cent is down! Down I tell you, sprawled out like a bully who took one too many lunch moneys!
It's over and Rush with the help of AC/DC and Beck has helped the softballers get a key victory on the road.
But what's this now?
The crowd is going wild! The softballers are up and leaving now ladies and gents. They are just leaving with police escorts....the bottles and napkins come in from every which way. I wouldn't want to be them now. Here come the mounties...ohhhhh there'll be retribution for this, but in the end, this cinderella story will be one for the ages.
For now, we sign off, but we'll back on June 4th. Will the softballers go to 2-0?
Be there to find out!
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2 comments:
My favorite was the look on everyone's face when YYZ went on. One bro got up and started pressing the buttons on the jukebox frantically to see if he could stop the madness and ended up putting in ten bucks. But alas, YYZ, in all of its 7 minutes of glory and no groove, sent homeboy back to his whiskey. Don't forget the geek talk about prog rock '80's bands like Asia and the birth of pseudo "Superbands" like Damn Yankees.
Great work.
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